I saw a water moccasin

Scoping some sweet nature.

When I saw it zigg-zagging in the water, I hit it with my oar, hauled it into the kayak with my bare hands and made teriyaki moccasin jerky when I came home. Not really, but we can pretend. Simply spotting a water moccasin and pointing before paddling away quickly just seemed like a lame anecdotal hook. Prior to that, my closest encounter to a wild beast with the power to destroy me was spotting Kelly Ripa on Bourbon Street. She may look warm and unthreatening but one snarky joke about her kids and Ripa will douse you in Everclear and set you on fire with a Virginia Slim. She's crazytown.

Anyway, I highly recommend kayaking in the Back Bay to anyone who wants to sneak some fitness while dabbling in nature. I went this past weekend with friends and it was fantastic. Surf and Adventure in Sandbridge offers half-day rentals at reasonable rates, $25 for a two-seater and $23 for a single. It's open all week from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., which works out great because unless you're hardcore, you probably won't want to sit in a kayak for an entire day. You'll want to pee or eat a sandwich at some point and neither are easy to do in a kayak.

Although none of the Surf and Adventure employees look like they've graduated from high school, they are friendly and have their shit together, thus making the rental process surprisingly quick. Sign some papers, nod your head through a brief kayak pep talk then hit the water. Paddling along the Back Bay, where there's practically zero current, is leisurely enough to hold a conversation but engaging enough to "get in the zone." You don't need previous kayaking experience and you don't need to get on anabolic steroids beforehand. The trail is simple to follow and the likelyhood of tipping over in such calm waters is directly correlated to the idiocy of the kayaker. Trust me, it's good times.

Things we learned from trial and mostly error:
Bring water. But in case you're a dumbass and forget, Surf and Adventure sells bottled water for a dollar.

Go early. Beat the heat and the hordes of homies who are going that day. We set off in morning and by the time we returned around 12:30 p.m. a line of copy cats had already assembled by the little dock.

Unless you want a farmer's tan on your thighs, take your shorts off. This mostly applies to the ladies with swimsuits underneath their shorts. This does not apply to pervs going commando.

Eat something light beforehand. Gnawing hunger distracts from the experience and unfortunately kayaks, oars and lifevests are not edible.


Nature - 1
Sheila and Melissa - 0
We'll get you Nature! Mark my words!